My blog has an utter lack of anonymity, from photos of me scattered throughout to my actual name being the title of my blog. I never used to mind, sure before I told people about my blog I was a bit nervous that they would find out about it but once I told people I didn’t really care. Until now.
The majority of blogs I read aren’t anonymous, you know the person behind the blog so the prospect of keeping who I was under wraps didn’t seem necessary for me but the past few months as you may or may not have noticed I’ve been pretty M.I.A on here and all my social media platforms, this was for various reasons I don’t really want to get into right now. But something that really held me back from writing about anything was the fact that everyone in my personal life knows about my blog and can read anything that I post.
Again this never used to be an issue, why would I care if someone I know reads about my favourite brownie recipe? But when I want to talk about something more “serious” I feel held back because the fear that someone I know might think differently of me or just simply because I don’t want everyone I know knowing about a certain thing.
It all sounds a bit strange, why would I feel more comfortable sharing things with people on the internet but wouldn’t want people in real life knowing what I was thinking or what was going on? I think it’s all about the anonymity of it, someone on the internet may know my name and my face but they don’t know me to a point where they would take something I say out of context and think it was about them (which has happened to me in the past with a girl from school in regard to a particular blog post and it was not fun) I just feel like I can’t say certain things because the person I am offline is almost meant to be a certain way and anything I put online could in my mind change the way people think of me.
I don’t regret making my blog open and revealing of who I am but sometimes I wish that it was anonymous so I could have a safer space to be more real and not have to upkeep the way I am offline too.
Maybe some of you can relate? Let me know if you do so I don’t feel quite so alone.
much love x