Yes you read the title right I have been in a sense “kidding myself” when it comes to blogging for pretty much the whole time I’ve been running my blog. That sounds drastic but hear me out.. So if you read my blog regularly then you will have realised that I’ve been pretty much the worst blogger when it comes to being consistent in posting. I’ve been thinking recently and it’s not that I don’t have the time to write, I’ve been doing nothing but watch Netflix lately trust me I have had more than enough time to write, I’m honestly bored of writing the posts I feel like people “expect” me to write.
I started my blog with the idea that it would be Beauty and fashion focused, I’d just added the Lifestyle category because I thought I could chuck the odd post that didn’t fit in with beauty and fashion there. Pretty soon I realised that while I loved reading bloggers posts about beauty and fashion I just wasn’t the biggest fan of writing them. I’m a huge rambler, I could talk for days about so many things but I was stumped when I was trying to review a lipstick or talk about an outfit.
I was kidding myself into thinking I could write a semi-decent post about stuff I didn’t really want to write about. I envied the bloggers who could breezily whip up a post about an outfit and make it sound like they weren’t bored out of their mind writing it. Seriously I tried writing a post about patches and I didn’t know where to start so I gave up, trashed the post and just didn’t upload that week.
Today I thought about this post and it all clicked. As soon as I thought about it I wanted to write it straight away. I opened up a new post and started writing and here I am, still writing and wanting to keep writing until I’ve finished. Not bored, not uninspired, actually excited to write??
Don’t get me wrong I love fashion and beauty, I wouldn’t spend hours scrolling through pinterest looking at outfits and reading reviews of all the new makeup if I didn’t. But just because I like reading it doesn’t mean I’ll automatically love writing about it. But for a year and a half I kept pushing myself to be like all the bloggers I followed. Trying to write about beauty and fashion and continually failing. I was stumped, I was writing what I thought people would enjoy but I completely disregarded whether I was enjoying writing it. It’s v important that I think about all of you loves reading but I know you guys aren’t dumb and you’ll know if I half-a** a post.
So I have decided to cut the shiz and stop trying to be the blogger I thought people expected me to be and just start being me. If you’re a big fan of beauty and fashion don’t stress I’m not cutting it all together I’m just going to write about that when I’m actually interested in something regarding that. But I also want to talk more about stuff that can help you guys, trust me I’ve been through a lot of stuff and it would’ve been pretty cool if I had someone there, kind of like a big sister, who talked about real stuff and could just say “yo it’ll all be ok, just have a hot chocolate and chill for a sec alright”.
This has all been a bit of a mess but to sum it up simply, I want to be real, I want to stop sugar-coating everything and acting like my life’s something straight out of pinterest because it’s not and no ones is. I want to write and be excited to sit there for hours and pour everything into a post. It’s about time I start making my blog a place where I can come and enjoy writing again and you can all come and have a read and hopefully enjoy what I put out there. But am I going to stress about it? No because I know you’re all pretty cool gals and you’ve supported me for a year and a half so I don’t think you’ll be ditching me anytime soon.