Woah love huh, its pretty crazy and I’m about to let you all in on my 17 years of wisdom when it comes to “Love” and everything that goes along with it. Now let me start this off with telling you that I have never been in love probably because I’ve never had a boyfriend. So I can’t give you the deets on what its like being in love but I can tell you what its like when you feel like you’ll be alone forever and what to do when all your friends get boyfriends and you’re left out (it’s not as bad as it looks). Grab a hot chocolate or a cup of tea and get comfy because this post is a little long but trust me it’s a good one.
I just want this to be a casual little chatty post, I know that everyone has their own opinion on all this personal stuff and that’s chill, everybody’s just doing their thing and that’s super cool so keep doing you and I’ll tell you where I’m at with all of this.
Anyway now into all the good stuff… lets start this off with the fact that I haven’t had a boyfriend. Yes I’m 17 and I haven’t had a boyfriend, I know its ground breaking *not*. I gave up caring about this long ago and geez it’s so freeing to not care about being single since birth cause it really doesn’t matter. Now look I’m going to be honest, there are days when I’ll be scrolling through pinterest and a photo of a cute couple in a perfect little cafe pops up and I’m like “damn I need some of that” which I feel is pretty normal but then I keep scrolling and see cookies and I also say “damn I need some of that”. I’m not against having a boyfriend at all, I think guys are great!! They’re fab little humans and it’d be pretty cool if I met a guy and we started dating but I’m young so going out and searching for a guy is just not on my to do list. If it happens it happens and if it doesn’t it doesn’t, why get hung up on something I don’t have much control over.
When I was little my main friends were 5 other guys, no girls just guys. I didn’t care because I was young and the fact that they were boys wasn’t an issue because they were nice people and that’s all I cared about. Gender didn’t ever come across my mind because I was a toddler and genders aren’t really a hot topic of conversation at pre-school. But as soon as you get older its harder to be friends with a guy without someone questioning what “it” is. I grew up with a guy being one of my closest friends and we’re still really good friends, I even took him to my school ball, but all we are is friends, yet people still make assumptions just because he’s a guy and I’m a girl. As long as you and your guy friend is on the same page that’s all that matters, people are always going to talk and judge so you just have to remember that other people’s opinions don’t mean a thing.
I have a close group of guy friends and most of them have a girlfriend which is fab because I can talk to them without people automatically coupling us off but then as soon as I talk to someone who’s single everyone starts looking and making it into something it’s not, this is what makes it so hard to just be friends. Before I even know where I’m at I have people telling me to go out with a guy I hardly know, I’m definitely not the type of girl to jump into a relationship and then get to know someone, it’s completely fine if you are but I personally like to be friends with someone before trying to make it something else. At some point you’ll probably experience this if you haven’t already, it’s just something you deal with, my best advice is to laugh it off. Who cares just go out and be friends with everyone, guys and girls, you’ll be so much happier I promise.
That leads me into “friend zoning”, this is a world-wide term and lets not beat around the bush here eventually you’ll most likely friend zone someone or be friend zoned. What annoys me the most about this is that people tend to make the person doing the friend zoning out to be the bad person, but when you think about it they’re just being honest about their feelings in order to not lead someone on. I think that although it might make it a bit awkward for a while, at least no one feels like they’re trying to force feelings that just aren’t there. There’s a common theme going on here when it comes to this stuff and that’s that if you can’t control it just deal with it, it may sound harsh but eventually you’ll find someone who you like and they’ll like you back and it’ll be all worth it.
On the other end of the spectrum is the dilemma I’m sure you’ll all have gone through and this is when you’re friends all seem to be getting boyfriends and there you are chilling by the food table at all the parties. A few of my friends have boyfriends now and I’m so happy that they’re happy, but do I want what they have? Not really, each couples relationship is different and I don’t sit around wanting what they have, I’d prefer to wait and find something that’s mine, if that makes any sense. Basically if a couple were super romantic and spent 24/7 together, sure I’d probably think it was cute but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pick a guy and try to emulate what they have because it will never work. That’s the issue with #relationshipgoals, you can’t put these expectations up for a relationship because you saw it online or you know someone with a relationship like that, you may not have dinner under the stars in Santorini with your s/o but you might have lunch at your favourite cafe which is special in its own way.
To sum it all up, guys are fab, girls are fab, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is fab and having guy and girl friends is super cool too. When it comes to all this stuff you kind of have to let it happen in its own time. You might feel like you’ll be alone forever but you won’t, trust me. Am I ruling out having a boyfriend in the near future? No, but I’m not going to spend hours trying to flirt with someone just for the sake of being able to say I have a boyfriend. I think love is amazing and one day hopefully I’ll experience it, but for now I’m just having fun doing my own thing.